The Muppet Show Season 5
S05 E01Mar 10, 1980
Roger Moore Mar 10, 1980 Kermit calls the Secret Service to hire real spies for Roger's closing number. (They're listed in the Yellow Pages.) However, Roger wants to do a cute, cuddly version of "Talk to the Animals". The spies, anxious for a chance to rub out James Bond, pose as fluffy animals to infiltrate the number.
S05 E02Sep 27, 1980
Loretta Swit Sep 27, 1980 How well can Loretta fit into Miss Piggy's roles? It all comes to a dramatic climax with the ""Pigs in Space"" installment.
S05 E03Oct 4, 1980
James Coburn Oct 4, 1980 Animal hits it off with tough guy James Coburn -- but James decides that Animal isn't centered enough, and introduces him to meditation and Zen. Animal doesn't take well to Zen.
S05 E04Oct 11, 1980
Linda Ronstadt Oct 11, 1980 Afraid that Linda will steal her frog away, Piggy locks Kermit up in a chest owned by Gonzo when Scooter helps him move his mildew ""collection"" and hides it.
S05 E05Oct 18, 1980
Tony Randall Oct 18, 1980 Browsing through an old book of magic spells, Tony accidentally turns Miss Piggy into stone. He considers bringing her to a stonemason for help. Fozzie, Gonzo and Floyd crack stone jokes as Kermit and Tony try to find a spell to change her back. Of course, the show must go on, and the Piggy statue takes the stage for "Pigs in Space".
S05 E06Oct 25, 1980
Brooke Shields Oct 25, 1980 Thinking she was booked to do "The Muffin Show," Brooke finds herself growing and shrinking as the Muppets stage Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
S05 E07Nov 1, 1980
Melissa Manchester Nov 1, 1980 Kermit is plagued by a night of backstage crises. A group of skiers get hurt during the opening number, and after Kermit says that the theater will cover their medical costs, Scooter forgets to cash the check. The Teeterini Family are angry that their teeter board won't fit on the stage. The Swedish Chef prepares spring chicken, and the bouncing chicken drives Kermit crazy. And let's not even talk about the blindfolded, hang-gliding yodelers.
S05 E08Nov 8, 1980
Señor Wences Nov 8, 1980 In honor of Señor Wences and his puppets, Kermit decides to do something new -- a puppet show! Fozzie wants to do a marionette act with a Dancing Clown puppet, but the marionette eventually pulls Fozzie down on the stage with him and takes control of the strings himself.
S05 E09Nov 15, 1980
Jean-Pierre Rampal Nov 15, 1980 Miss Piggy is cornered by flautist Jean-Pierre, who wants to speak French with her. She claims to have laryngitis, whispering, "My vocal coach told me not to speak French. I'm not even supposed to eat French fries!"
S05 E10Nov 22, 1980
Gladys Knight Nov 22, 1980 The theater is under repair, but the workers have to destroy in order to build. They take the roof right off, leaving this show victim to the elements.
S05 E11Dec 6, 1980
Joan Baez Dec 6, 1980 Rizzo and the other rats bother Kermit for a spot on the show, so Kermit asks Beauregard to "take care of them." Of course, Bo takes that literally, and treats them as guests. The rats make Beau their president, and manipulate him into giving them food. The rats eventually become so bold that they decide to take over the show. Kermit says Beau has to kick them out, or he goes with them. Beau chooses to stick with his new rat friends, until Miss Piggy enlightens him.
S05 E12Jan 17, 1981
Marty Feldman Jan 17, 1981 The Muppets present their version of 1001 Arabian Nights, with guest star Marty Feldman playing the role of Scheherazade, telling tales to an evil Caliph (played by the Swedish Chef).
S05 E13Jan 31, 1981
Glenda Jackson Jan 31, 1981 Glenda reveals herself to be Black Jackson the pirate captain, and she takes over the Muppet Theater with the help of Short John Silver (Sweetums) and Eric, a heartless pirate parrot (in disguise as a penguin). They tie Kermit up, turn the theater into a ship, and cast off to look for buried treasure. The show ends with a musical battle at sea, with Gonzo and a crew of chickens fighting to save Kermit and the theater.
S05 E14Feb 7, 1981
Gene Kelly Feb 7, 1981 Gene is under the impression that he's a "guest" -- that is, he's going to sit and watch, but not perform onstage. Frantic, Kermit tricks him into performing by asking him to give him a dance lesson on-stage. Kermit plans a surprise closing number, "Singin' in the Rain," Gene refuses, saying that he doesn't think he'll ever sing the song as good as he did in the movie, but he does eventually sing it backstage. Meanwhile, Scooter uses his Tarot cards to predict that the world is coming to an end. Beauregard believes him, and tries to convince the rest of the cast the apocalypse is near.
S05 E15Feb 14, 1981
Hal Linden Feb 14, 1981 Statler and Waldorf get their chance to do a better show than Kermit--they play host, while Kermit and Fozzie heckle from the balcony. Unfortunately, Statler and Waldorf's acts don't turn out exactly as they plan. The Berlin National Opera Company cancels and are replaced by the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers. Hal's Fourth of July number is invaded by Gonzo on a sleigh singing Christmas songs. Finally, Statler and Waldorf admit that the show is harder to put together than it looks and happily go back to complaining from the balcony.
S05 E16Feb 21, 1981
Wally Boag Feb 21, 1981 In honor of vaudeville-influenced guest star Wally Boag, the Muppets salute vaudeville, with a balloon animal act, a bagpipe player and a hypnotist. Wally performs acts he made famous at the Golden Horseshoe Revue at Disneyland, including the Pecos Bill teeth-spitting sketch.
S05 E17Feb 28, 1981
Debbie Harry Feb 28, 1981 Robin's Frog Scout troop visits the show, getting in everyone's way backstage. They ask Debbie for help earning their punk merit badges, and she teaches them how to do the pogo. When Gonzo cancels his act, the Frog Scouts get their chance to do a performance of close-order drills.
S05 E18Apr 25, 1981
Johnny Cash Apr 25, 1981 In honor of Johnny Cash's appearance, the show is simulcast over country radio station WHOG, and the radio broadcast threatens to overwhelm the actual show. The head of WHOG, Big Tiny Tall Saddle, insists on making all the decisions. He refuses to let Rowlf go on, and instead schedules Grampaw McGuire and his whistling bricks. Kermit tries to run his own show, but Big Tiny is one of the toughest men alive -- when he's annoyed, he has a habit of wrapping microphone stands around people's necks. Fozzie is replaced by Wally Whoopie, a stand-up comedian who makes fun of the bear -- which inspires Kermit to stand up for his friend, and his show.
S05 E19May 2, 1981
Carol Burnett May 2, 1981 There's no show today, almost; the theater is turned into a dance marathon hosted by Gonzo.
S05 E20May 9, 1981
Buddy Rich May 9, 1981 Thanks to Gonzo's refrigerated mildew collection, the power goes out in the theater, and Beauregard almost electrocutes himself trying to fix it. Half of the acts have to perform in the dark, until Dr. Bunsen Honeydew hooks up a generator that runs on Beaker-power. Beaker runs on a huge wheel to generate power, and when he gets tired, Bunsen helps to motivate him by releasing a hungry tiger onto the wheel.
S05 E21May 16, 1981
Paul Simon May 16, 1981 Paul inspires Gonzo to be a songwriter. Unfortunately, Gonzo writes songs like "For You": "For youuu... I'd wash my hair with stinky glue, I'd fry my legs and eat them too, I'd put a spider in my shoe -- for yoouuuu!" Paul is stunned. Later, Gonzo's chickens run off with Paul, so Gonzo develops a new obsession -- asparagus. But at the end of the episode both the chickens and the asparagus run away when Paul asks for chicken with a side of asparagus.
S05 E22May 23, 1981
Chris Langham May 23, 1981 A messenger brings a message from the scheduled guest star -- Benny Brillstein, the Yiddish yodeler. Benny refuses to be on the show, so Kermit asks Chris, the messenger boy, to be the guest. Chris knows a joke, so Kermit introduces him as a comedian.
S05 E23May 30, 1981
Mac Davis May 30, 1981 Beaker tests Muppet Labs' new copier machine, ultimately falling into it and making seven copies of himself. The multiple Beakers gang up on Bunsen, and the doctor is forced to wear a disguise and hide from his assistants.
S05 E24Jun 8, 1981
Shirley Bassey Jun 8, 1981 Kermit borrows fifty million dollars worth of gold for Shirley's closing number, "Goldfinger". Security guard Bruno is suspicious that Kermit wants to steal the gold, but keeping an eye on the frog makes him overlook a band of pig thieves, who steal all the gold as Shirley sings.