Ned and Stacey Season 1
S01 E01Sep 11, 1995
Ned and Stacey Sep 11, 1995 Stacey Colbert, a young freelance writer who has worked for the ""Village Voice,"" runs into Ned Dorsey by chance at a restaurant bar. Ned is a successful advertising account executive who is bombastic, pompous and definitely more than a little off-center. In the course of a brief conversation she is totally turned off by him. Stacey sees her sister Amanda, who hopefully will be able to introduce her to a nice guy, but she's horrified to find out that Ned is the unlikely best friend of Amanda's husband Eric, who works at the same ad agency as Ned. During the dinner conversation Stacey is outraged by Ned's amoral, ruthless attitude toward his work and life in general and she gives him a piece of her mind before stalking off, ending their blind date. At his job, Ned's boss Spencer tells him he can't award him a promotion because he's not married (their conservative clients like ""family men."") Ned lies to Spencer, saying his own wedding is planned for a short time later. Ned gets his promot
S01 E02Sep 18, 1995
Portrait of a Marriage Sep 18, 1995 The morning after their first night ""together,"" Stacey is up before Ned waiting for him to arise, anxious to make sure they ""communicate"" even if their marriage is a sham. But Ned doesn't see the need for it. He informs Stacey that he's having a cocktail party for some clients the next night and will need her to perform her role as his loving spouse. At work, Eric is admiring Ned's huge new office, but is scared when Les MacDowell, the guy beat out for the promotion, drops by. Ned and Les do a little verbal sparring, with Les agreeing to come to Ned's party the next night. Stacey comes home happy after selling an article, but is dismayed to find Ned has thrown out all the redecorating work she did.The party is to begin shortly, as Stacey is reducing to asking the serving staff if they've seen her husband--he didn't come home last night. Ned casually strolls in and hands Stacey a synopsis of their supposed history together, teling her to bone up on it right away. Stacey says it's ""the
S01 E03Sep 25, 1995
Take My Wife, Please Sep 25, 1995 Amanda and Eric enter their regular restaurant, folowed by Ned and Stacey, arguing as usual. Stacey bumps into an Englishman and is charmed by him immediately. At the table, Ned encourages Stacey to approach the man, and the others agree that a new relationship might help Stacey's disposition out. She introduces herself to the guy, Nigel Davies, and makes a date with him. Later, before their date, Stacey is almost too nervous to go, but Ned re-dresses and re-accessorizes her and sends her on her way. The date goes well, we surmise, because the next thing we see is Stacey and Nigel in bed. Stacey tells him she's married, but before she can explain about her and Ned's true relationship, he tells her it's all right, they can manage, and in fact he makes a clandestine love affair sound so romantic that she doesn't tell him the truth about her ""fake marriage.""Two weeks later, as Ned and Stacey are about to leave for her parents' home, she is still walking on air. When they get there, Saul
S01 E04Oct 2, 1995
Cover Story Oct 2, 1995 Ned is angry at Stacey for coming home late and she's fuming too--her hard-hitting expose piece for the Soho news didn't make the cover and was edited down to one sentence! Ned pushes her to get ready for a function with a client: ice-cream mogul Marshall Balaban is presenting a large donation to the environmental organization Green Planet. At the presentation Eric brings in the giant oversized check, whacking one or two people in the head on the way. While making conversation, Les MacDowell's wife Bernadette intimates to Stacey that Balaban has some sordid secrets about his business dealings. Stacey goes to work on Les, using her charms to pump him for information. Les spills the story about Balaban's illegal dumping, use of hormones in his cows, etc. At the restaurant later after the function, Stacey tells Ned about what she's learned. Ned doesn't seem to mind at all that she will submit an article about it.Stacey drops by Eric's cubicle ad the ad agency, gets a couple of company ro
S01 E05Oct 9, 1995
Model Husband Oct 9, 1995 Ned and Stacey are having dinner at the Moyer's house. Ned has tickets to see the Knicks, but Amanda tells Eric he can't go, that he has to watch their son Howard that night. Ned argues with Amanda but she's adamant, making it seem like Eric is just a little bit henpecked. At work the next day, Ned is going over a storyboard with supermodel Alexa Miroslav, who he has hired to appear in a commercial the agency is doing for a client's sport truck. Eric comes into the office and nervoulsy meets Alexa. While alone with her for a time, his fumbling manner charms her.In the limo on the way to the client's party, Stacey is talking on the phone, eating caviar, and generally acting like a rube. Ned makes a stop to pick up Eric, who is still being nagged by Amanda. In the few minutes Ned is inside, Stacey strikes up a conversation with Alexa, who has very simple lines in the commercial: ""Hey, stranger. What took you so long?"" But Stacey, veteran of two acting classes in college, fills Alexa ful
S01 E06Oct 16, 1995
Saul and Ellen and Ned and Stacey Oct 16, 1995 The Dorseys and the Colberts are on their way to see Stacey and Amanda's parents, something the women are not looking forward to. They wonder just who arranged this outing anyway, and it turns out to be Ned. At the Colbert house Ned fawns shamelessly over Ellen and Saul. Back at home, Stacey tells Ned he shouldn't get too close to her parents, since once their sham marriage is over and she's involved in a real one, she won't want him in her life anymore. Ned says he enjoys the parental attention he never got as a kid, but Stacey lays down the law: no more seeing her parents unless she OK's it.A few days later Stacey is going out on a date with new acquaintance Neil, who is informed about the ""fake marriage"" arrangement, but before the couple leaves she catches Ned talking on the phone to her mother. In fact, her parents are dropping by before going to the theatre, which means Stacey will have to stay home until they arrive and depart. Later, Stacey and Neil are out while Ned has his l
S01 E07Oct 23, 1995
Here's to You, Mrs. Binder Oct 23, 1995 At a birthday party for Stacey and Amanda's father, Ned meets the recently widowed Lucy Binder, the best friend of the girls' mother. The sisters aren't too crazy about Mrs. Binder but Ned finds they share an interest in hoticulture and they begin to click right away. They go to her greenhouse to check out her flowers. Ned invited her to the upcoming Renaissance Fair. She accepts, then demurs--then they both fly into each others arms and kiss.Some days later Stacey and Amanda are at the apartment when Ned comes in walking on air and being nice to everyone, including his combative sister-in-law. Stacey knows the cause of Ned's good humor is whoever he's dating, but Ned won't identify her. Later Stacey and Amanda go out shopping with her mother and Mrs. Binder. When Ellen goes to the bathroom, Lucy guiltily and tearfully tells Stacey she's having an affair with Ned. When Stacey gets home she lays into Ned (who is in full Renaissance garb) for toying with this woman, the best friend of h
S01 E08Oct 30, 1995
Halloween Story Oct 30, 1995 A depressed Stacey would rather play couch potato than go to the Halloween party, as she grudgingly gives out produce and toiletry items to trick-or-treaters while stuffing herself full of sweets. At the party in his Zorro costume, Ned meets an attractive redhead, Rhonda, who is dressed as a bumblebee. Eric, in his female nurse's uniform, spends the evening fending off advances from a man dressed as a doctor. Amanda runs into Scott, Stacey's old boyfriend, who is also in a Zorro outfit. Amanda rushes to Stacey's apartment to tell her about Scott's presence. Stacey immediately puts on her bumblebee costume and rushes to the party, where she is reunited with Scott. Both Ned and Stacey make plans to rendezvous with their new lovers in a dark hallway. They both arrive at the same time and begin to make out passionately, until they recognize each others' voices, sending them both into a panic.A confused and distrught Stacey tells Amanda about the awful mistake, and that--horror of horrors-
S01 E09Nov 13, 1995
Reality Check Nov 13, 1995 At a birthday dinner for Amanda at the gang's regular restaurant, Stacey's credit cards are all overdrawn when she tries to pay. Eric offers to pick up the check, but Stacey says no, it's my treat--and tells Ned to pay. Back at the apartment she writes Ned a check for the dinner, a check he knows will bounce. Ned soon gets the story out of her--she's in deep financial trouble. In fact when Eric comes over to figure out her situation, he finds she's $28,000 in debt! Amanda suggests she start cutting her losses by moving out on Ned, but he will not hear of losing his trophy wife. The next morning Ned and Stacey visit the bank to try to straighten things out and are told they best term they can offer her is a partial payment of $5600 due immediately. Ned writes a check but a proud (and unrealistic) Stacey tears it up, still insisting their finances are separate and she can pay off the money herself.Stacey is rolling up coins, taking hack writing jobs, doing anything she can to make money
S01 E10Nov 20, 1995
Thanksgiving Day Massacre Nov 20, 1995 For once, things seem to be going well during a Colbert holiday gathering. Ned is cooking Thanksgiving dinner and is determined to have everything just perfect. But it all begins to fall apart soon enough. When Ned sends Stacey and Eric out in search of cranberry sauce, a series of events ensue that sees Eric and Stacey stuck in Manhattan unable to get back to her parents' house, Saul and Ellen going to see her long-estranged sister to attempt a reconciliation, and Ned and Amanda stuck in his car in the snow, where they almost have a ""moment."" Back at the Colbert's house, only Aunt Ceil remains with the Moyers' son Howard, who is stuck listening to her old show-biz stories.
S01 E11Dec 4, 1995
Sleepless in Manhattan Dec 4, 1995 Stacey somehow convinces Ned to come shopping with her for a new bed, a task that takes them all over the city with no purchase in sight. Finally Stacey sees the perfect bed--but the store manager tells her it's already been sold. Eager to end the shopping trip, Ned bribes the manager into selling it to her. Back home, Stacey is ecstatic with her new purchase, but Eric lets it slip how Ned made the deal. Stacey spends a sleepless night worrying about the poor soul who may have been cheated out of this wonderful bed. When they try to return it the next day, the manager tells them all sales are final--until Ned bribes him again. When Stacey hears about this arrangement, she won't accept it, provoking a frenzied outburst from Ned and a huge fight in the middle of the department store.
S01 E12Dec 11, 1995
Threesome Dec 11, 1995 At a restaurant Amanda runs into an old acquaintance, Sam, who she introduces to Ned and Stacey. The couple hits it off with Sam and both make dates with him. Stacey is romantically interested in Sam, but Ned still desires his companionship and they wage a battle for Sam's mind and heart.
S01 E13Dec 18, 1995
Accountus Interruptus Dec 18, 1995 Ned pitches ideas to sexy CEO Jordan Haswell, who makes it clear after the meeting that sex will seal the deal, a prospect which Ned finds to his liking. Later at a party at Ned's, Jordan openly flirts with him in front of Stacey, who is outraged since Jordan doesn't know about her and Ned's arrangement. Stacey tells Ned that by acceding to Jordan's demands for sex, he's no better than her ""punk."" Later in Jordan's room, Ned is troubled by Stacey's words and has an uncharacteristic attack of morality, refusing to sleep with Jordan even if it means losing the account.
S01 E14Jan 1, 1996
New Year's Eve Jan 1, 1996 Ned and Stacey are particularly irritated with each other this New Year's Eve, so Stacey is happy to accept a last-minute date from one of a pair of brothers she once met on vacation. Unfortunately, she can't remember whether this one was the rich, interesting one or the dud. Ned doesn't put up much of a fight, even though it means Stacey won't be available for ""wife duty"" at his party that night. It isn't long into the date before Stacey finds out that Don is not the brother she was hoping for. Meanwhile Ned has to fend off questions about Stacey's whereabouts and the best he comes up with on the spot is that she's at the hospital with her brother who is suffering from scurvey. His guests insist he go spend the holiday evening with her. Eric and Amanda return to their home in an amorous mood which is broken when they find Ned killing time in their bedroom, and they evict him. Don senses Stacey's disappointment and lets her cut the evening short. She returns to the apartment to find gu
S01 E15Jan 8, 1996
Paranoia on the 47th Floor Jan 8, 1996 Ned is worried about a hotshot young executive the company has hired, especially when Clay reminds Pat Kirkland about the company's manadatory vacation policy, which Ned hasn't been following. Kirkland insists Ned take two weeks off, during which time Ned is sure that Clay will solidify his position in the company at Ned's expense. His paranoia turns to mania as he can't quit obsessing about what Clay is doing, even when he's at a tropical resort. Returning home, Ned is a beaten man who is ready to give up, but Stacey reminds him of his old ""immoral, inscrupulous"" self, and encourages him to go fight and retake his position in the company.
S01 E16Jan 15, 1996
A Tender Trap Jan 15, 1996 Stacey engineers an ""accidental"" meeting with Megan Foster, whose contacts in the publishing world could help get Stacey a staff job at a magazine. But Megan turns out to be much more interested in Ned. Stacey pleads with Ned not to treat this woman like one of his one-night stands. Trying to help Stacey, Ned acceeds to all of Megan's sexual demands, which are exhausting him. Meanwhile Eric can commiserate with Ned--he and Amanda are trying to have another child, and during her ovulation, she's putting him through his paces like a ""drill sergeant!""
S01 E17Jan 22, 1996
Promotional Rescue Jan 22, 1996 When a department head's job becomes open at the ad agency, Amanda encourages Eric to pursue it aggressively, but Eric has his usual laissez-faire attitude. Amanda asks Ned to put in a good word for Eric with their boss Kirkland. Eric gets the promotion, but at the first big budget meeting he attends on he won't sign off on Ned's extravagent presentation for a major account. This causes hard feelings between Ned and Eric, and during an argument Ned lets it slip that Eric only got the promotion through his intercession. Eric is angered by this, but feeling helpless he agrees to back up Ned's budget proposal. Ned presents a horrible bloody ""morphing"" commercial to the client, who promptly walks out. Eric's career as a department head also ends swiftly.
S01 E18Feb 12, 1996
Friends and Lovers Feb 12, 1996 Stacey and Amanda bump into Janine, an old schoolmate of Stacey's who she still resents for stealing her boyfriend and the lead in the school production of West Side Story. Right away it's obvious that Janine is still into one-upsmanship as she brags about her husband (the old boyfriend), their jobs and their lives. Amanda agrees to be her realtor in a search for a New York residence and Janine comes over to Ned's one night while everyone is there. Stacey tries to make her life sound wonderful to make Janine jealous. She sits in Ned's lap telling the (fictional) story of how he proposed to her. Ned, who's been on a sexual losing streak, gets aroused, to everyone's acute discomfort. Later Janine and Ned share a cab. Janine comes on to Ned, who resists briefly, then succumbs. When Stacey finds this out she's truly hurt by it, as she sees Janine taking something from her again. In order to make it up to Stacey, Ned brings Janine to the apartment and tells Stacey they had an affair, but he
S01 E19Feb 19, 1996
The Gay Caballeros Feb 19, 1996 Ned enjoys a good relationship with his client, gay fashion designer Brent Barrow, who invites the Dorseys and the Moyers to his restaurant and takes Stacey and Amanda shopping at his warehouse. While helping Stacey put away her new clothes, he notices that she and Ned sleep in separate bedrooms. Stacey tells them that they have an arrangement. Brent says he understands but wrongly assumes she means Ned is gay. Later Eric and Ned arrive at Brent's Mardi Gras party before their wives and notice that only men are in attendance. Ned is eager to correct any misunderstanding with Brent and he tells him that he's straight. Brent assumes Ned is in denial about his sexuality and is ready to quit doing business with him, so Ned now tries to tell him that he is gay after all and in love with Eric. By the time Stacey and Amanda arrive at the party, Ned and Eric have done such a bad job of acting gay that Brent is sure that Ned is truly straight.
S01 E20Feb 26, 1996
Gut Feeling Feb 26, 1996 Ned keeps ignoring chest pains despite everyone's warnings. Even when he finally sees a doctor, he totally rejects the idea that he needs surgery on his gall bladder. While perfoming as Leonard the rodeo clown at Howard's birthday party, he suffers an acute pain attack and is hospitalized. It's obvious he also has a fear of hospitals and is terrified that he may die in surgery. While on the operating table, his vital signs flatten out and he appears to be having a near-death experience. He runs toward a voice and a bright light, until he sees that it's Stacey calling him. The patient makes a miraculous recovery.
S01 E21Mar 4, 1996
Pals Mar 4, 1996 Ned is working with Bobby Van Lowe, a smart-aleck ""brat pack""-type actor (from the hit sitcom ""Pals"") who goofs his way though a series of public service announcements. Amanda jumps at the chance to sell a rich young actor some expensive real estate. While showing him a pricey co-op, Bobby takes a liking to Amanda and kisses her, which Ned accidentally sees. Amanda isn't interested in pursuing a realtionship with Bobby, but she does want his and his friends' business, so she stars spending more time with him and even talks about putting off having her next child for a while. (Stacey, meanwhile, is predictably starstruck by Bobby.) Eric is confused until he gets the news out of Ned that Bobby kissed his wife. Expecting the worst, Eric confronts his wife and Bobby, accusing her of having an affair. Later Ned finds himself in the unusual position of trying to comfort a drunk and distraught Amanda.
S01 E22Mar 11, 1996
It Happened One Night Mar 11, 1996 Feeling ill and irritated with her sister's complaining about her marriage to Ned, Amanda lashes out at Stacey, telling her she's responsible for her situation and that if she really wants her life to change, she should do something about it. Stacey abruptly decides to leave Ned and flees back to her parents' house. Her dad takes her to a coffee shop to talk, where Stacey tells him the marriage is a sham, but Saul doesn't grasp the true meaning. Ned arrives with Amanda at the Colberts and talks to Ellen. As Ellen attempts to counsel Ned, the younger ones both learn more than they want to know about the older couple. Amanda comes by the coffee shop to talk to Stacey. While there, the two of them see Stacey's old boyfriend Joey, who is now a pot-bellied father of six driving a bread truck. They flash back to the same coffee shop years earlier before their high school prom, where we see Stacey dressed in ""Flashdance"" gear, Amanda looking like Ally Sheedy in ""The Breakfast Club,"" Eric as a
S01 E23Mar 18, 1996
You Bet Your Wife Mar 18, 1996 Stacey is leaving for the movies as Peter is arriving for Ned's poker game and there is a spark of attraction during their brief meeting. At the poker table Ned and Peter are involved in a high-stakes bet which Ned can't cover. Peter won't let Ned renege on his own house rules, so Ned asks him if there is anything of his that he wants. Peter jokingly says a night with his wife. Holding four jacks, Ned agrees to take the bet, which he loses. After the game has broken up and Stacey has returned, Ned deceitfully offers to set Stacey up on a date with Peter, which she accepts. Peter comes around to collect his winnings, the unaware Stacey. Later, after twinges of his conscience (and a few choice words from Amanda, who found out about the unholy bet), Ned races over to Peter's place, hoping he's not too late.
S01 E24Apr 1, 1996
The End? (1) Apr 1, 1996 After yet another bad date, Stacey complains about the paucity of good men available for someone like her. Ned scoffs at this, saying she's the problem and that he could easily find a better man for her than she ever could herself. Stacey takes the challenge and tells Ned she can find him a better woman for him than he can find for her (a man, that is. Got it?) Stacey's blind date with Ned's friend Alex turns out to be very enjoyable; in fact, she thinks he's just about the perfect man. Ned's date Frances, however, turns out to be a neurotic, psychotic wreck.Three weeks later Stacey and Alex are still a hot item, but Ned is getting resentful. Stacey has been spending so much time with Alex that she's been neglecting her ""official"" wife duties. After she misses an important affair with a big client, Ned is particularly angry with her. She promises to be back from her ski trip with Alex in time to meet the client and his wife at the apartment. When Stacey and Alex arrive home from the s