Curb Your Enthusiasm

Mark Seen

The Pants Tent Oct 16, 2000 An innocent bunch-up in Larry's trousers gives rise to an embarrassing situation.

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Ted and Mary Oct 23, 2000 Larry and Cheryl's fun-filled bowling date with Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen ends with Larry's shoes missing.

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Porno Gil Oct 30, 2000 Larry sets off a bizarre chain of events (as he always seems to do) in which he is forced to attend a party at the home of a porno businessman.

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The Bracelet Nov 6, 2000 Larry is continually thwarted in his effort to buy a bracelet as a peacemaking gift for Cheryl.

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Interior Decorator Nov 13, 2000 Larry has some medical problems involving a certain bracelet. No biggy. Then larger problems arise when Larry finds out he shares the same interior decorator as Diane Keaton.

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The Wire Nov 20, 2000 Hoping to bury an unsightly telephone wire dangling over their yard, Larry and Cheryl befriend a pair of bizarre neighbors who must approve the burial. The husband is an incompetent lawyer but a big Seinfeld fan, so to appease him Larry arranges to have Julia Louis-Dreyfuss come for a visit. But when the actress arrives, the lawyer is missing; he's been hired to defend Jeff in a case involving a destructive kid Jeff sponsored for a Fresh Air Fund camp. At Larry's house, Julia ends up buying a bracelet from the lawyer's wife -- the same kind Larry wanted in episode 4 -- only to later accuse Larry of stealing it after he buys a similar one for Cheryl.

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AAMCO Nov 27, 2000 Jeff gets a new car, and when Larry takes it for a spin, a commercial comes on the radio for AAMCO, with a noise sounding much like a car horn from behind. Upon hearing this, Larry curses the man behind him, prompting the man to rear-end Jeff's brand new car. Also, Larry and Cheryl hold a dinner party.

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The Car Salesman Sep 24, 2001 Larry David and his wife purchase a new oceanfront home owned by a television star's agent. Meanwhile, Larry shocks his wife and friends by deciding to take a job as a car salesman.

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Thor Oct 1, 2001 Jeff leaves his wife Susie, and worries that his private life will become public in court. Jeff's concern affects Larry, who becomes obsessed with showing Cheryl how normal he is. Meanwhile, Larry seeks revenge on pro wrestler Thor Olson, who he believes slashed his tire after an argument on the road.

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Trick or Treat Oct 8, 2001 When Larry and Cheryl attend the premiere of a movie written by a handicapped friend, Cliff Cobb, Larry offends a Jewish neighbor, alienates Cliff (as well as the memory of his salad-inventing grandfather) and sends misguided romantic overtures to Cliff's wife, Shelly. Later, the Davids experience the ""trick"" side of Halloween when Larry refuses to give candy to two uncostumed teenagers. Having failed to get a bracelet for his wife on her birthday, Larry makes amends with the perfect gift on a romantic morning, but then Jeff arrives to play a round of golf. In the end, Larry gets revenge on a jewish neighbor and his teenage daughters, by arriving at his home with the orchestra that he used for Cheryl's birthday, as they played the tune that offended this neighbor.

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The Shrimp Incident Oct 15, 2001 Larry is labeled a misogynist when he believes an HBO Network executive took some shrimp from of his meal, following a mistake in a delivery of Chinese food.

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The Thong Oct 22, 2001 Larry and Richard Lewis, who both see the same psychotherapist, plot ways of ending their respective relationships with the therapist after Larry sees the man wearing a thong bathing suit.

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The Acupuncturist Oct 29, 2001 An acupuncturist agrees to waive his $5,000 fee if he can't cure Larry's back. Coincidentally, a down-on-his-luck writer asks Larry for a $5,000 loan, claiming he'll soon pay the loan off since his wealthy father is close to death. Later, at a not-so-surprise birthday party for the writer's wife, Larry manages to convince the father to cut his son out of his will, but the old man dies before the change is made. That doesn't mean Larry will get his $5,000 back, although he is forced to pay off his acupuncturist, even though his back isn't cured.

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The Doll Nov 5, 2001 At the screening of a miniseries, the young daughter of a TV executive asks Larry to cut the hair off a beloved doll. When he complies, she becomes very upset. To remedy the situation, Larry and Jeff steal the head from Jeff's daughter's doll.

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Chet's Shirt Sep 16, 2002 Larry and Jeff invest in a restaurant with actor Ted Danson. In lieu of attending his dentist's dinner party, Larry decides to shop for waiters' uniforms, and in the process buys matching shirts for Ted and himself. But after Danson realizes his shirt has a small rip in it, he demotes Larry in The Wizard of Oz scene they're re-enacting for his daughter's birthday party (Larry refuses to switch from the Lion to the Tin Man). At the party, little Jill Danson misses the piñata and hits Larry in the mouth with her bat. Following an emergency visit to his dentist (who learned why Larry had skipped the dinner party), Larry is left with two abnormally large front teeth and one clean shirt that both he and Ted covet.

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The Benadryl Brownie Sep 23, 2002 Nearly five years after the rest of the world, Larry discovers cell phones. Using his new toy, he calls Cheryl and asks her to tell Randy, the chef at Larry's new restaurant, to omit peanuts from the dinner that night because Richard Lewis's girlfriend Deborah is allergic to them. But bad phone reception prevents Cheryl from hearing the message, and Deborah gets sick. A practicing Christian Scientist, Deborah refuses to take medicine to clear up the hives on her face. Richard will not be seen with her at the Emmy Awards that night, so he and Larry concoct a plan to bake a batch of Benadryl-laced brownies for Deborah to eat. The ruse fails, and that night on national TV, the Davids see Joan Rivers lambasting Richard and his none-too-attractive date on the red carpet.

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Club Soda and Salt Sep 30, 2002 Dismayed in part over the peanut incident, Randy quits his job at the restaurant, and Larry, Jeff and Ted must search for a new chef. Ted suggests they audition his personal chef, but at dinner Larry feels the food ""just wasn't that good"" and rejects the candidate. Meanwhile, Larry accuses his wife Cheryl of having a crush on a tennis-playing cast member of ""Tony & Tina's Wedding""; a couple refuse Larry's wedding gift because it's more than a year late; and a saleswoman becomes convinced that Larry is stalking her as revenge for her being too aggressive.

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The Nanny from Hell Oct 7, 2002 Larry, Cheryl, Jeff and Susie encounter a ""nanny from hell"" whose reign of terror is thwarted by ten sponge cakes. Larry commits a ""penis faux pas"" after a pool party, and Richard Lewis seeks immortality from Bartlett's Quotations.

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The Terrorist Attack Oct 14, 2002 A rumored threat of a terrorist attack undermines a benefit performance by Alanis Morissette at the home of one of Larry's friends. Meanwhile, Larry can't help snubbing Mindy Reiser, wife of actor Paul Reiser, during a series of encounters at a restaurant and the perfume shop where she works.

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The Special Section Oct 21, 2002 Larry's mother dies while he's shooting a film in New York City, but he doesn't find out until he returns to Los Angeles two days after the funeral. Once he's past the initial shock, Larry uses his loss as an excuse to avoid a number of unsavory invitations. Meanwhile, Richard Lewis accuses Larry of taking back his meditation mantra, and Larry plots to relocate his mother's body at the cemetery.

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The Corpse-Sniffing Dog Oct 28, 2002 Over a makeup dinner with the Braudys, Larry openly ponders the question, ""When a husband pays the check, do you have to also thank the wife?"" Meanwhile, Jeff's return home is ruined by his allergy to the family's corpse-sniffing German Shepherd—but his daughter Sammy refuses to give away the dog. Concerned about his agent's welfare, Larry figures out an ingenious way to give the pooch to the Braudys, who are looking for just such a dog.

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Mel's Offer Jan 5, 2004 After going to a Karaoke bar that Mel Brooks is performing at, Mel is so impressed with Larry's singing that he asks Larry to be the star of his broadway show.

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Ben's Birthday Party Jan 12, 2004 Ben Stiller gets upset when Larry refuses to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. Larry then hits him in the eye with a toothpick.

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The Blind Date Jan 19, 2004 Larry sets up his blind friend on a date with a muslim woman.

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The Weatherman Jan 26, 2004 Larry David has a huge problem with name tags. In the process Larry reveals a bathroom preference that disgusts Jeff. Ted Danson makes another great cameo.

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The 5 Wood Feb 2, 2004 A bag of cashews and rasins threatens Larry's working relationship with David Schwimmer; a dirty locker and a golf club threatens his club membership; Larry gets into a compromising situation with a dog.

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The Car Pool Lane Feb 9, 2004 To get to a Dodgers game, Larry finds a creative way to use the HOV lane. Then, he finds himself in a bit of trouble when he gets his father medicinal marijuana.

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The Surrogate Feb 23, 2004 Larry decides to buy a surrogate mother a gift, but it backfires. He tries (and fails) to pass a routine physical and uses it as an advantage.

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The Larry David Sandwich Sep 26, 2005 As the Jewish high holy days approach, a near-death experience, coupled with a comment made by his father, leaves Larry wondering if there's more to his identity than he thought. In better news, a sandwich now bears his name, but it's not entirely to his liking.

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The Bowtie Oct 3, 2005 Larry seeks professional help to secure information about his past. Meanwhile, his place as a gay rights supporter hits a snag.

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The Christ Nail Oct 10, 2005 A undergarment purchase for his housekeeper lands Larry in hot water, while his father-in-law's fondness for The Passion of the Christ comes in handy more than once.

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Kamikaze Bingo Oct 17, 2005 Larry wonders how a Japanese WWII veteran can call himself a kamikaze, and feels a nursing home bingo game may not be on the up-and-up.

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Lewis Needs A Kidney Oct 31, 2005 When Richard Lewis finds out he needs a kidney transplant, he finds two friends who match him, leaving them to decide who ""gets"" to give up their organ.

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The Smoking Jacket Nov 7, 2005 His father's smoking jacket and ""bathroom contamination"" cause grief for Larry.

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The Seder Nov 14, 2005 Cheryl puts on a Passover Seder, which Larry promptly finds numerous ways to ruin.

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Meet the Blacks Sep 10, 2007 The Davids take in a family whose life was destroyed by a hurricane; Larry comes up with a way to avoid going to parties he has no desire to attend

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The Anonymous Donor Sep 17, 2007 It's moving day for both the Blacks and the Davids; Larry's prized Joe Pepitone jersey is lost at the dry cleaners; Larry's irked at Ted Danson's anonymous donation; Cheryl is grossed out by a semen stain on a guest-room quilt.

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The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial Sep 24, 2007 Marty Funkhouser is outraged when flowers from his mother's memorial are stolen; Larry complains about "sample abusers" in stores; Jeff and Susie find knowing Larry to be a liability when trying to get Sammy into an exclusive private school.

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The Lefty Call Oct 1, 2007 Larry regrets getting Cha-Cha a job in his building when she monitors his bathroom habits, and runs into further problems with her when he has to make phone calls 'lefty'; the Blacks and Larry are fed up with Cheryl's environmentally conscious, but uncomfortable, toilet paper; a waiter objects to a doggie bag actually being prepared for a dog.

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The Freak Book Oct 8, 2007 Larry is unrattled by a book about freaks and a bad chauffeur.

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The Rat Dog Oct 15, 2007 A toaster makes life tough for Loretta and Leon; Larry gets to know an exterminator.

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The TiVo Guy Oct 22, 2007 When Larry snubs a frightened Cheryl's phone call in favor of dealing with a TiVo repairman, she walks out on him, leaving their friends to decide which of the pair to stay true to.

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Funkhouser's Crazy Sister Sep 21, 2009 Larry attempts a pre-emptive breakup with an ailing Loretta, and learns with Jeff that you can’t make an “empty gesture” to a Funkhouser.

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Vehicular Fellatio Sep 28, 2009 Against the will of a renowned doctor, Larry tries his best to irritate Loretta. Once again, Larry causes issues in Richard Lewis' new relationship, and, after being unintentionally tipped off by Leon, takes advantage of the wife of a depressed friend.

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The Reunion Oct 5, 2009 Jeff pitches the idea of doing a Seinfeld reunion to Larry, who refuses at first, until he realizes how he could make it pay off personally.

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The Hot Towel Oct 12, 2009 Larry makes an enemy of Christian Slater at Ted and Mary's anniversary party, but gets his payback while at a restaurant with an old flame. Meanwhile, Larry's doctor gives him his personal number and soon regrets it.

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Denise Handicapped Oct 19, 2009 Larry believes that he has found a way to enjoy someone else's disability without being disabled himself. Meanwhile, he hopes to end a rumor that Rosie O'Donnell can beat him up.

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The Bare Midriff Oct 26, 2009 When Larry and Jerry Seinfeld get together to write the reunion show, they consider including Larry's latest experience, which involves a crying Jesus and a bare-midriff assistant.

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The Black Swan Nov 2, 2009 Larry has bad luck on the same golf hole twice.

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The Divorce Jul 11, 2011 Larry learns his lawyer isn't kosher, and rescinds a cookie order from the Girl Scout daughter of a beleaguered sports owner.

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The Safe House Jul 18, 2011 Larry becomes an unlikely role model for battered women. Richard Lewis's relationship with a burlesque performer is put to the test. Leon survives a case of mistaken identity.

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Palestinian Chicken Jul 25, 2011 A Palestinian chicken restaurant is incredibly popular with Larry and his friends despite its open hostility towards Jews and Israel. Meanwhile, Larry's approached to inform people that their habits are agitating by family members too scared to do so.

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The Smiley Face Aug 1, 2011 Larry challenges the rules of dating and rethinks a decision regarding a new workplace neighbor. Meanwhile, Jeff invents an ill-advised excuse to get out of a dining engagement.

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Vow of Silence Aug 8, 2011 Larry's evolving alibi to get out of a charity function results in unexpected travel plans. Meanwhile, Susie makes demands for the terminally ill family dog's last meal; and Larry points out personal flaws in the buffet line and in parking lots.

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The Hero Aug 15, 2011 Larry plays the hero in the sky and underground; Jeff’s courtship of Ricky Gervais is sabotaged by a nosy waiter.

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The Bi-Sexual Aug 22, 2011 Larry competes with Rosie O’Donnell for the same woman, explores the nuances of Japanese bows, and refuses lunch with an LA acquaintance.

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Foisted! Oct 2, 2017 Larry tries to rid himself of an inept assistant, offends Jeff’s barber and gets into hot water over a new project.

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The Pickle Gambit Oct 9, 2017 Larry reaches out to a familiar face, gives a hotel guest sartorial advice and looks to create a diversion to help a friend’s nephew.

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A Disturbance in the Kitchen Oct 16, 2017 Larry turns to a writer for advice. Searching for Susie’s missing “little sister,” he gets ticketed by an overzealous cop.

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Running with the Bulls Oct 23, 2017 Larry’s therapist accuses him of overstepping. Susie grows suspicious of Jeff. Larry bribes an usher at a funeral.

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Thank You for Your Service Oct 30, 2017 Larry commits a faux pas with Sammi’s fiancé, and tries to start over with his mail carrier and golf club security guard.

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The Accidental Text on Purpose Nov 6, 2017 Larry invents an ingenious ploy for getting his friends out of relationship jams. Larry upsets Funkhouser's new girlfriend.

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Namaste Nov 13, 2017 Larry angers a hot-yoga teacher, has an auspicious first date, and seethes over a run-in with an unfair Uber driver.